15 great tastes all rolled in to one

The answer to "How mucho is too mucho?"

Whose home for the Holidays?

With Thanksgiving coming up this week, I raise this hypothetical question:

Which Food Network chef would you most like to have Thanksgiving dinner with (and why)?

For my money, it would probably be Tyler Florence or Michael Chiarella because they seem like they might actually be able to have some fun and their recipes always seem delicious.

Botulism, giardia and other foul organisms

Does anyone else share my frustration with the quality of food-related programming on television these days?

There's enough written about Rachael Ray's horrendous-ness to last a lifetime, so I won't dwell on that except to use this line that I have been wanting to unleash for a while:

She's re-E.V.O.O.-olting!

I must say, though, that she deserved to win the Iron Chef battle last week over Giada deLaurentis, better known in our household as 'Giardia'. Giada is so smug, so cocky and so... well, gross, really! Did anyone see her stick her finger into the food several times during the battle? Hasn't she heard of a spoon?

Speaking of smug -- what about the contestants on Top Chef?! PUH-lease! There are a couple of clever ideas and a few teaspoons of talent, but more than anything they just seem to be HUGE egos clanging around a kitchen. That might be exactly why they will succeed!

Having said that, I would take any one of them over host Padma Lakshmi, who really gives me the creeps! That woman has enough botox in her face to sedate an elephant. Look carefully the next time the show is on (it's on pretty much all the time on Bravo) -- she really is only capable of one facial expression. There's one hilarious scene in last week's episode where she shows surprise at a contestant's accusation of cheating by making her eyes bulge to twice their normal size!

I know a lot of you will think I'm just being catty. I also know a lot of you watch the show just so you can imagine old Paddy naked. For you, I have an early holiday gift.

On a brighter note, I thank public television for keeping Jacques Pepin on the air. He's charming, funny and an excellent chef. He tells great stories as he demonstrates his clever and unpretentious recipes and he seems to enjoy himself while doing it. His French accent is a laugh too. In short, he's a delight.

Culture Vulture?

Hungry for another quiz? Try testing your knowledge of foodie pop culture and let us know how you do! Evidently I need to watch more of the Food Network, which comes as a bit of a surprise!

Brown is Beautiful

OK... I just took another quiz and found out that in addition to being like feta cheese, I am also like a brownie:

"... you melt on people and people stick to you. You're kind and affectionate. You're a good listener whether you know it or not and people look up to you no matter how they act. Everybody has a place for you in their heart."

Which is sweet, I guess. I mean even though brownies are square and heavy, I suppose better a brownie than pork rinds or something. Not that I have anything against pork rinds. I mean they're strong and salty and not afraid to speak their mind.

Test your cheesiness

If you were a cheese, what kind of cheese would you be? Find out by taking the cheese test. It turns out I'd be the charismatic and confident feta. Who knew?